Five Bottles, Four Drinkers, and Steve's Pickle

At nearly ten years old, this is possibly the oldest wine the crew has ever cracked open, and it kicks the night off on a high note. Chris finds nothing bad to say — good smell, good taste, good finish — while Steve admits it was thick and syrupy on first sip but won him over with balance, tang, and a touch of spice. Ed, ever the cheapskate, enjoyed the nice spice and the absence of any Listerine-worthy finish, but won't part with the cash. Bill, who famously doesn't like Shirazes, agrees with John that it's got a weird spicy texture early on — then comes around to a pleasantly balanced glass and lands on drink and buy. As Bill notes, the first wine of the night keeps winning lately; somebody should investigate. Also discussed: which direction the toilet flushes, and whether the tasting goes clockwise or counterclockwise. Counterclockwise, apparently.

Chris brings a Chilean cab with a so-so aroma but a delicious palate and good tannin. Steve calls out the lingering spice and the balance; Ed, who usually finds cabs too chewy, is pleasantly surprised — *"it's a Cabernet, but hey, it's Chilean, so how bad can it be?"* Bill is the lone holdout, catching a sour bite that keeps him at drink not buy. Chris notes this wine is the mirror image of the Wyndham: he liked it more at first and less as the glass went on. Moral of the story, per Chris: *"drink less, and you'll like it more."* A brief tangent on Spanish translation establishes that Concha y Toro means something like "bull's horn" — or, depending on the giggling at the table, "horny house."

And here's the bottom of the barrel. Steve opens with a citrusy first sip and not much else — extremely weak, nothing going on. Ed delivers the night's most savage one-liner: *"This is exactly what happens when you put grape juice in with a little bit of some kind of grain alcohol."* He flirts with a toilet vote but settles, definitively, on no drink no buy. Bill caught an atrocious aftertaste a few sips in and never recovered. Chris was skeptical of the food-friendly sticker from the jump and won't buy it, though he'd drink a glass if poured. John, surprisingly, defends it — for $5, it's not bad — but still won't buy. Steve points out the Trader Joe's $4 from last week was better. Damning. The session continues into pairing science: Barefoot is reportedly improved by Steve's Pickle, and absolutely ruined by ketchup. *"Allegedly, this goes good with food, but then again, so does drinking bath water."*

Ed kicks off this Aussie Shiraz with a backhanded compliment: enjoyable, a little sharp, mellows out — but not full-bodied enough to part with $10. He'd rather buy a decaf mocha venti, no fat, no whip. Bill, who picked it up because it was the shop's third-best-selling red, gets past a metallic first sip and lands on drink and buy — his second Shiraz drink-and-buy of the night, which is starting to worry him. Chris also caught the metallic note up front and admits it mellows, but he'd rather spend his ten bucks on a different Shiraz. John gets sick of it fast — one glass is enough. Steve finds it sweet and spicy, and the sweetness wears him down. Bill spends the wrap-up wondering if he's biased because he brought it. The table is happy to confirm.

Bottle five of the night for four drinkers, and the wheels are getting wobbly. Bill leads off with a third Shiraz drink-and-buy — a personal record that has him questioning everything he thought he knew about himself. Chris is more direct: *"This is fucking fantastic."* John agrees, also f-ing fantastic, also drink and buy. Steve is the lone dissenter, picking up a vanilla-sweet note that pushes him to drink not buy — the Stacy of the night, as the table christens it. Ed loves the balance and the body, especially after the earlier sour grape juice trauma, and rounds out the votes with a drink and buy. The night ends with Bill declaring he hates all Shirazes, retroactively. Three drink-and-buys deep, nobody believes him.